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Lifestyle Choices and Habits of Confident and Successful People

It looks as though some people in life are playing their cards right. Most of us know someone in life whose confidence and outlook we admire. They are happy, self-assured, successful, energized and they appear as if they haven’t a worry in the world. Cruising through life looking like everything is a breeze, they can whip a five course meal together without stress or complaining. They bring you course after course with a smile on their face looking the whole time as if they didn’t lift a finger. You may find yourself intrigued and relaxed in their presence. They are in charge – but what is their secret? And what are they doing to make you think that their life is perfect? If some people can go through life feeling like this, why can’t we all? A great quote from one of these people comes from Benjamin Franklin: “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of the mind than on outward circumstances.” Our relationships, how we feel and our success all starts with our perception. Ever notice how negative people are always blaming something other than themselves and have a hard time relaxing?

Many years ago I attended a seminar by a motivational life coach/speaker Raymond Aaron. Raymond coaches people to be their best, expect the best and never ever give up. He is an amazing mentor who shines a light on all of our dark places. His goal is for his clients to become successful and gives them the tools and techniques to do just that. One of my first sessions with him was quite fascinating. He said that to be the best we can be we need to clean up our messes. What on earth did that mean? He literally wanted us to clean up the physical messes. His reasoning was that to create the life you want you cannot clutter it with mess, because it clutters your mind. If you are disorganized in one area of your life you are probably disorganized in all areas. Having clutter in our physical lives doesn’t allow for our true potential to shine through and fogs our decision making and motivation.

I took a look in my purse after the session and it was a mess. No wonder I couldn’t find anything. So I began cleaning up mess after mess. First the purse then the kitchen drawers, the garage and finally my office. Bam! I was finally organized. Once I cleaned up my outer surroundings the internal impact was immediate; I felt clear, organized and left with only one thing to do – continue bettering my life. I finally knew where everything was and I felt renewed. Raymond reminded me that to be creative you have to make space both inwardly and outwardly. I felt like I had a fresh start. Start by donating and throwing away things you don’t need – just get rid of it! When we have too many useless things in our lives we are much more likely to feel out of control and hopeless. Ask yourself if you truly need those boxes that have been sitting in storage for years.

Once I cleaned up my outer messes I got hooked on finding ways to improve my life. I then turned my focus inwardly and decided to clean up something else; the people in my life. This may sound harsh but in life there are many people who detract from our positive energy, slow us down, or simply waste our time. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Just like airplane safety procedures; you must take care of yourself before assisting others. And so I began. I used my personal motto and that is: “You have to help me grow or you have to go!” Your friends are a reflection of you. I wanted people to challenge me, love me and support all of my endeavors. If you only hang out with negative people, how can you ever expect to have a positive outlook? I needed to weed the garden of my life and water those special flowers. This exercise helped me truly appreciate the relationships and amazing people in my life.

Once all of the inward and outward messes got cleaned up I felt like I was brand new and full of energy and love. Most profoundly, I was motivated. If you could take care of the things on your mind right now, what would that entail? It all starts with one step at a time. Clean up the mess!

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Can’t Take a Compliment?… Just Say Thank You!

Has anyone ever given you a compliment and you immediately brushed it off as quickly as it came? The person may simply have been admiring something that they found positive in you, yet we are all too fast to dismiss the kind words. Or worse – we end up in a more negative state then we started off in!

This often leaves the other person puzzled as they were truly speaking from their heart. How come so many of us have so much trouble accepting compliments – and how can we take away something positive from these experiences? We have all had so many experiences in life that leave us jaded, and at these times most of us are really our own worst enemy. Without the right attitude, a positive intent can quickly turn negative and rob us of our vitality and our confidence. That doesn’t sound right – does it?

Wouldn’t it just be great if we could say “thank you” and truly believe it? Well you can. The next time you hear someone say to you, “I love your hair”, don’t run your hands through it and say something like “oh I haven’t washed it for a week,” just say thank you! At first you still may not find their words to be genuine or you may innately reject them off the bat, but the more you say thank you the more a funny thing begins to happen; A deep part of your self hears it and you start to feel good! And when you feel good you shine and radiate energy, leading to a snowball effect of positive emotions. Who doesn’t want that?

Like most people, I personally used to have a terrible time accepting compliments. The turning point was during a trip to the Caribbean; My family had just given up our dream home when a close friend invited me and paid for a vacation to Jamaica. One day while I was there, I decided to go mellow out and relax at the spa. I wanted to treat myself but money was tight, and when I got up to leave my friend came in and informed me that the bill was paid for. Of course my first reaction was to dismiss this and say no – he had already done way too much. However, he simply put up his hand and said to me, “Jane, just say thank you”… and so I did.  I realized that by saying no to the gift I was only holding myself back. When we brush off compliments and acts of generosity we are only doing ourselves more harm than good. I realized that I had been doing this my entire life. Are we really meant to turn these things away?

We can all easily compliment others – We’ve all heard people say: “You made my day!” Every so often we’ll compliment someone who knows how to take it, and we’ll see them wiggle with joy. Well it is your turn. Many of us probably don’t even realize how many nice things are actually said to us – we tune them out and dismiss them.

Well friends, I challenge you to make a change and start reaping the benefits of feeling good! Today is a new day. Ask yourself how confident you are from one to ten. If you are not at the top and you have an issue accepting compliments, then start by saying “thank you” and watch what happens. Lastly start complimenting others – Words carry energy and have a tremendous ripple effect. By bringing a light to someone else’s day you can also brighten yours.

You are perfect just the way you are… just say thank you!

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Being Beautiful and Confident From the Inside Out


Everyone admires a rightfully confident person as they have something that we all want. They seem to walk through life effortlessly. But is confidence taught or is it caught? Being beautiful from the inside out is a process. Many confident people have created habits for themselves which they reinforce every single day. In this article I would like to talk about the first of ten habits that I use every day which maintains my sense of self and fills me with joy and a lust for life.

From early childhood I struggled with confidence and it took me years to feel good about myself. I observed the habits of others, questioned them, and began to adapt and make small changes in how I carried myself. I focused not on the negative, but on the positive. I began to create positive habits in my life without worrying what habits I should drop, as they began to disappear and found no room in my new found outlook.

There are so many things we can do for ourselves and our confidence. It is really up to you as no one else can do this for you. If you want change in your life then take these steps as life passes us pretty fast. Ideally each of us wants to be confident and never feel that we can’t do it. You can. I love to watch the Olympics on TV for two reasons. First, their athleticism is incredible and those who win knew they were going to win! They saw the gold medal in their mind’s eye and believed in it from a very early age. So it’s no surprise to me when they are the ones standing on the podium!

 Keeping your Eye on the Prize

When I was a teenager I was sitting on a dock in the summertime and I observed a seagull circle above the water. Around and around he went and then finally he splashed into down into the water and pulled out a fish in a seemingly effortless fashion. He kept his eye on the prize. This is what we need to do. First, know what you want and secondly never take your attention off of your goal.  Maybe you don’t know what you want? Then ask yourself: if you could wave a magic wand in your life what would you like to happen right now. Think about that. Maybe it is a new job or relationship. Life is like a restaurant; we have to put our order in. Once you know what it is, it is there for the taking – but how do you do that?  Your thoughts have energy and everything is energy. When you put energy into something it draws it closer to you.

15 Times a Day

The first exercise I would like to share with you is the 15 Times a Day Exercise. Write your goal down 15 times a day by hand every day until it becomes a reality. If you want a mate but don’t leave the house you will never meet anyone, so you have to do your part. By writing it 15 times a day magical things begin to happen. It can be a goal or a statement of how you want to perceive yourself; it could be “I am beautiful”, “I am Happy”, “I am confident”, “I am in a loving relationship”, “I am getting a raise”… When I first started this myself I was at a crossroads and did not know what to do. Someone told me about this exercise and I began to practice it. Mine was really long and it took me a long time to write it, but it was worth it.

It was, “I am happy, healthy, peaceful, prosperous, and live in an abundant spiritual and emotional world”.  Today my business is growing beyond my expectations and I am grateful for having so many loving and amazing people in my life. One week after I started this exercise I had an offer to join a medical team and two weeks later my father knocked on my door and handed me a gift of money. He told me that my 8 siblings and I were all getting the same amount. I was floored. My parents had never done anything like that before. When I wasn’t writing it I was saying it over and over in my head. Maybe it was by chance, but believe it or not six months later I won five thousand dollars in the Canadian Cancer Society Lottery. By repeating your goal over and over to yourself, you become a magnet – attracting things that help you make it a reality. It is so simple – you just have to do your part. If you want change then make change happen. No one can do it for you. You are going down a new road and so many surprises await you. Just watch what happens.

Have an attitude of wonderment and let the universe fill in the blanks. Set your goals, expect the best, allow for the unexpected and be grateful for the gifts that come your way.

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